The dog-lovers and the rest of us

I was listening to a conversation between a mother of a 3 year old daughter and the owner of a 3 year old dog. The conversation was held most amicably but I could see how different their stances were. I was not a part of that conversation but could identify strongly with one of them. If you think your dog is like your child, here are a few things that I would like to tell you.

Firstly, I teach my daughter to behave herself and teaching her manners was not easy. She learnt to say hello, please and thank you when appropriate when she was very young. If your dog non-verbally displays similar manners, I will pat its head and be nice. If not, admit that you are a bad parent/owner. I have seen very well-mannered dogs that will understand the guests and come to cuddle only if invited. Teach your dog that. Child-rearing is not about buying toys and cutting birthday cakes and running on the beach sand. It is about helping the child make sense of the world she is brought into and if you are a dog-owner, the same is expected out of you too.

Don’t say “Dora is not a dog”. Of course she is. She is a canine. She barks and howls and has four legs and a tail. You love the dog like a daughter and that is your right. That does not mean that the barking is a cute sound or that the growling dog has to seem less than intimidating in my eyes. The dog does not become an honorary child in the view of the world and it doesn’t have to. Dora probably likes being a dog.

Don’t feed the dog with your hands; it freaks the rest of us out. Tell the dog that begging for food at the dining table is not a decent habit. Think how you’d feel if I did the same with a komodo dragon and expected you to be cool with it. That is the extent to which dogs freak us out.

I can’t talk on behalf of the rest of the non-dog-loving population, but I personally do know and understand that dogs are intelligent and sweet and loving. Anecdotes about how Dora loves nail polish and begs for it will not make me an instant dog-lover. It is possible to expect a decent distance even after appreciating the complexity of canine (or feline) behavior.

Think twice before you say “Children are more annoying and I hate them.” I understand that you love your pet like a child and most people are not going to give heartfelt condolences when you lose your pet to old age or illness. They will not understand if you take the day off when the dog is sick. But just don’t say “I hate babies” to a parent of a human baby. It is incredibly rude.

Maybe it is different in other countries, but I think here in India we have neither got the hang of managing our own pets nor respecting the pets of others.

* The whole “I hate babies” brigade should probably be a separate topic. So many people like to say that they don’t like babies, that it is almost a trend now.

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4 thoughts on “The dog-lovers and the rest of us

  1. Thank you, Rahini. Thank you. I owe you a delicious cup of chai (just about the only thing that I can make) whenever we meet in person.

    I am firmly in the “Naaya Naana” camp :)) I have, over the years, developed tremendous respect for sensitive pet owners because they give me the space I crave and they, in turn, deserve respect for being kind. If they don’t want me to say, “your dog” and instead say, “Google” (the name of a friend’s dog) that is fine as long as I don’t have to go anywhere near Google! I have a mortal fear of dogs. and part of the blame for that must be laid at the feet of some terribly insensitive dog owners in my childhood. (Long story – will have to make a blog post out of that!) I don’t think I have ever read a post like this one that expresses the feelings of the “rest of us” – so, gracias!

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  2. Loved reading this!! I have become more comfortable with dogs over the years but I am not yet at that stage where the dog ceases to be an animal. I have always been on the fence about babies, hope that’s okay. 😉
    Also new post, yay!

    Like

  3. Ha ha. I HAVE become very quiet blog-wise, haven’t I?

    I am not a baby person myself. I think cute babies are cute and most babies are just small.

    But people who’d never say a wrong word against a person different color, caste or orientation suddenly thinking it is fine to say “I hate babies” disgusts me. I wonder if these people know that it is very difficult being a baby.

    Like

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