Hint hint.. Wink wink.. Nudge nudge

Have you spent time going through the WhatsApp status message of some particularly interesting folk? One day it is “I am a free bird” and the next day it is “To be content with yourself is the ULTIMATE happiness” and a month later it is “PLS cme bk darling…<3

Do these people really get anything by reaching to the entire friend list and not just their significant other? One of my friends started going out of his way updating his status with typical “Girls are inscrutable“, “Girls are heart breakers” messages on a daily basis. He is usually not the type at all. And if you went through his updates you would think he was flinging his heart at the feet of an arrogant girl who was deliberately toying with the answer.

When I confronted him with this, he claimed that it meant nothing at all. They were just statements that he found in Facebook and thought of as witty. I would not have any of it. My argument was this. I was not in close contact with him any longer and I did not know who he was whining about. But there are others who are close to him and even if he was having a mild crush on this girl, the gossip mongers will be thinking of this girl as an inconsiderate heart breaker and they would know who the girl was.

“Stop using your WhatsApp messages for catharsis”, I’d insist whenever he started whining. Soon he admitted it. They were not merely funny lines. He meant it. And he also admitted to a messy friend-zoned relationship and here is the catch, it was HE who had friend-zoned her. WHAT??!!?? Then WHAT did those lines mean? I just don’t get it. But it isn’t my business and I don’t want to digress. This is not a post about messy friend-zoned relationships. It is about how annoying it must have been for that girl that a personal relationship (or friendship) is now a circus for random people to analyze as they thought fit.

Status messages are sometimes extremely misleading. “That is the thing about pain, it demands to be felt” is a good quote. Not a good status message. And it certainly is not a good one for a newly married girl, definitely not if she does not want people to assume that she is stuck in a bad marriage.

Prettiness is not the rent I should pay to exist just because I am a girl” is a terrific quote, but I felt bad that a plain-looking girl had this on her status message. In one way it is a defiant “fuck-you” to those who probably were not treating her well as they treated show-stopping beauties. But surely the very presence of that status message negated the attitude that it stood for. If you truly don’t have to pay rent, you don’t spend time thinking about the rent, no? The line is a terrific comeback but not a good status message, IMO.

An audacious playboy once laughingly admitted that his intriguing messages were actually meant for more than one girl. He will keep the “You wouldn’t believe how much I miss you” message until he deceived a bunch of women into thinking that they were the intended recipient. To tell the truth, I admire his temerity. He knows the power of the written word and is willing to harness it. At least he is self-aware.

Key:

‘PLS cme bk darling’ means “Please come back, darling.” (I know my readers are chatspeak-challenged)

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4 thoughts on “Hint hint.. Wink wink.. Nudge nudge

  1. Shalini says:

    Not sure you’ll be pleased with the reaction, but this post made me laugh out loud. :-O And very, very glad that I don’t “do” social media. Now, if I can just get my Mom un-addicted from WhatsApp…

    Like

  2. Shalini, in that case I should tell you about those who update their status with “going to the gym” and that will be the only day they would have gone to the gym. 🙂

    My mother is very much addicted to Facebook. Just her kind of thing.

    Like

  3. Let me echo Shalini; I don’t do social media either, though I gave in to family pleas to be part of a Whatsapp group. I must confess that I rarely look at the umpteen ‘jokes’ and ‘interesting’ videos that a couple of family members see fit to send (though I do debunk all the stupid ‘Indians did this during the vedas’ type of reports one of them sends regularly) and I have never bothered to look at their profile statements. 🙂 Thanks for the mid-morning laugh.

    Liked by 1 person

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